As a prominent women's rights activist, political advisor, author and President of the Afghan Red Crescent Society, Fatima Gailani has achieved a rare level of influence and success in her native Afghanistan - a country still struggling to recover following the fall of the Taliban in 2001. Gailani, who spent over two decades living in exile, returned to Afghanistan in February 2002 and was one of the architects of the country's new constitution. In the second instalment of a two-part interview to mark International Women's Day, she talks to the International Federation's Ali Hakimi about her childhood in Kabul and the challenges facing women in Afghan society today.

Ali Hakimi: What was it like growing up as a young girl in Afghanistan?

Fatima Gailani: I had a very happy childhood. I was lucky because I was born and grew up in a very privileged family. Gender was not an issue and this gave me great confidence. In our family, girls and boys were educated and they were brought up with equal confidence, equal opportunities and a strong sense of responsibility.

I always felt that I was equal with any person in society, but of course that was not the case for most girls in Afghanistan. A huge difference between men and women still exists today.

My father is a prominent religious leader, yet he is a very down-to-earth, loving person and really friendly. When we were younger, he played and joked with us. My mother was very strict with us. She taught us to know the value of a privileged life, and to spend money in a careful and responsible way. She was also an active woman. Besides her day-to-day responsibilities as the wife of a religious leader and as a mother, she always found time to be a volunteer in the Red Crescent. She is very proud of her achievements.

A.H.: Why did you leave Afghanistan and how did living abroad affect the way you think and what you do?

F.G.: My family was forced into exile in 1979 by the communist government. We were lucky that no one from our immediate family was killed by the communist government.

We took refuge in England. In exile, I was no longer a privileged person… I was just one of many refugees in a foreign country. As I was the eldest child, I had to take charge of my family.

All the male members of my family were involved in the resistance in Afghanistan. I had to learn English from scratch, I had to learn how to cook. On top of all that, I was a new mother. My daughter, Homaira, was only few months old. Somehow, I managed all this and learned how to settle down.

As soon as I was comfortable with my new situation and my new language, I started looking after wounded Afghan children as well as young members of the resistance, who were injured during the war and who were brought to England for treatment. I acted as a translator, took them to hospitals, talked to them, cooked for them. In short, I cared for them. Soon after that, I became the official spokesperson for the Afghan resistance in the West, based in England.

A.H.: What challenges do women, including yourself, face in the work place and in Afghan society today?

F.G.: In most parts of this country women face the exact same discrimination they faced five years ago. This discrimination does not come from the government… it comes from their own families.

Personally, I never think about my gender, whether I am in the Red Crescent or when I was recently working on the new Constitution. I had to go from village to village to speak to different people, sitting in the mosque talking to a congregation of men. I think when you reach certain level of education, people will respect you. But the dilemma is how to encourage fathers, brothers and families to give this chance to their daughters.

Whenever I get compliments from men from various tribes, I reply to them by saying, 'If you want your daughter to be like me, then you have to give her the same opportunities that my father gave me.'

A.H.: You have achieved a level of success that few women in Afghanistan have managed to attain. What would you say to young women in your country, who aspire to accomplish as much as you?

F.G.: What I have accomplished in my life is not only exceptional in this country but around the world. Here, the role of the family is extremely important. If men within the family give girls the opportunity to be educated, and take their education to a higher level, then the situation will change for the better for women. Families must also support girls in putting into practice what they have learned

I am the product of democracy under the former king of Afghanistan, Zaher Shah, whose 40-year rule ended in a coup in 1973. What was achieved by women at that time is still considered a high standard today. We had women in the senate, parliament and cabinet. We lost it all overnight, but the memory of those honourable women is still with us. So we know the importance of leaving a good record and being a good example. We achieved it once, we will achieve it again.

A.H.: Do you consider yourself a feminist?

F.G.: To tell you the truth, I do not know what a feminist is. I am totally for the rights of women. A big part of my adult life I fought for it. If I were a man, I would have done exactly the same, so you can call me whatever you like.

A.H.: In December 2001, just after the fall of the Taliban, the former UN secretary general, Kofi Annan, addressed the Afghan Women's Summit for Democracy by saying that there could be "no true peace and recovery in Afghanistan without a restoration of the rights of women". How has the role of women in Afghan society evolved since then?

F.G.: We cannot achieve peace, human rights, women rights or democracy with imported rules and regulations. It wouldn't be sensible. The presence of foreign troops, the influence of the UN, the prescription of Kofi Annan can temporally bring changes for women. But are these changes really fundamental? Do they have roots in our society and our culture? I do not think so.

That's why I insist upon an Afghan solution, meaning involving religious and tribal leaders and ordinary people in villages. In order to establish an Afghan feminism, we have to involve our religion and our culture.

A.H.: Are you frustrated that more economic, political and social progress hasn't been made over past five years?

F.G.: Yes and no. I've stopped worrying about it. The first two years I used to worry when I saw any child out of school, any person without a job, any beggar in the street. I felt bad, as though it was my fault. I kept on feeling guilty.

Now, of course, I feel sad about it. I've never allowed myself to be indifferent, but I've reconciled myself to do what I can in my capacity as President of the Red Crescent to help vulnerable people and fight corruption.

A.H: You are a very strong woman. Which other strong women do you identify with?

F.G: I do not identify with just one person. I have a very strong mother. Both my grandmothers were very strong women. Many of my mother's close friends were prominent women, real achievers, like Senator Homaira Saljoqi, Minister Kobra Norzai and many more.

I was also influenced by my father's friends, like Prime Minister Mohammad Mosa Shafiq, Professor Khaliollah Khalili, who is also a well-known Afghan poet, and Ambassador Pazhwak. Above all, King Zaher Shah had a tremendous impact on my character.

I learned my sense of fairness from my father. From my early age, he taught me how to be fair, how to allow someone who is better than me to take the front seat and have the courage and honour to be the second best.

Another person whom I admire is Nelson Mandela. Mandela is a person that has touched not only the people in his own country, but way beyond it.

A.H.: What are your hopes for the future of your country?

F.G.: My hope is that more skilled people will get involved in rebuilding Afghanistan.

I really hope that one day the people of Afghanistan will talk about the present problems as a part of history.

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