ISLAMABAD, 5 June 2007 (IRIN) - Kamran Khan, 14, lives with polio in the Pakistani capital, Islamabad. Infected when he was just a year old - when there was little awareness of polio and current door-to-door vaccination efforts were not in place - he tells IRIN what it is like to live with this debilitating disease that continues to affect children in his country, and he hopes all parents everywhere have their children vaccinated.

Pakistan - alongside India, Afghanistan and Nigeria - remains one of four countries in the world today where the polio virus remains endemic.

"For me just being different is the toughest thing, but I never really understood how different I was until I was around nine or 10. Watching my friends run and play cricket, I wanted so badly to join them, but couldn't.

"Each day I would crawl on my hands and knees to the playground down the street to watch them, ripping my clothes as I dragged myself along the side of the road. And while my mother would get angry with me, she knew she couldn't keep me back. I wanted desperately to take part, to be 'normal' like the other kids. I didn't care how I got there.

"Two years ago I got my first wheelchair, which allows me greater mobility outside the home, but I still crawl around at home as our house is quite small and it's easier.

"At 14, I still want to join in, but have accepted some of the realities of what living with polio brings. I have to adjust to being different, which is really hard sometimes. Life is meaningless if you can't participate - can't feel like everyone else - and, yes, I still cry sometimes.

"But fortunately, my family has always been behind me, as have my friends, who have been quite supportive. And while they have always tried to treat me the same as every one else, I know, with the physical handicap I have to live with, that's impossible.

"Not being able to walk - the hardest thing is accepting these realities; not being able to take care of myself, not even being able to go to the toilet without the help of others. For me this is the worst thing. I crawl into the washroom to relieve myself in a small pan, which my mother then has to empty for me.

"My father still feels guilty for not having me vaccinated against polio when I was a baby, but at that time there was no door-to-door vaccination programme in Pakistan and my family knew little about polio at the time. Even today, my father blames himself. And while he doesn't cry as much as he once did, he now worries constantly what will become of me when they are gone. What will I do? How will I take care of myself?

"Sure, I think of these things too - of whether one day I will marry and be able to live independently like everyone else. But right now I am trying to think of what I can do, as opposed to what I can't do physically. Right now my passion is education and this year I was top of my class - in a special school for students with physical disabilities.

"Each day my mother wakes me at 5:30am for school, to dress and bath me. She wants me always to look my best. It's hard for her at her age, but she loves me dearly and I know it.

"And of course, I want my parents to be proud of me - just like they are of my other brothers and sisters. Perhaps I will study computers in future - this is an area where my physical handicap won't hold me back as I will be using my mind.

"I especially like using the internet. When chatting with friends online, it's strange but I feel like everyone else, and the fact that my legs don't work doesn't keep me from participating.

"I know things won't be easy for me in the future, but at the same time I have hope. Living with polio is part of who I am. Our school principal, who is blind, is my role model. If he can become the principal of a school without ever being able to see, I can achieve great things too."

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