(Updates with comments from Ban and Karzai)

By Phil Stewart

ROME, July 3 (Reuters) - NATO Secretary-General Jaap de Hoop Scheffer pledged on Tuesday to investigate civilian deaths in Afghanistan, but contrasted NATO's record there with a Taliban who "behead people, burn schools, kill women and children".

The rising toll on civilians is putting pressure on Afghan President Hamid Karzai -- who like the NATO chief was in Rome for a conference on the rule of law in his country -- in the bloodiest period since the Taliban government fell in 2001.

In a major incident this weekend, Afghan officials said 45 civilians had been killed by an air strike, though the NATO-led International Security Assistance Force put the toll lower.

"Our opponent mixes and mingles with innocent civilians. They are in a different moral category," De Hoop Scheffer said.

"We do not intentionally kill; they behead people, they burn schools, they kill women and children. Let us not forget."

Civilian deaths have sparked demands for the expulsion of foreign troops and Karzai's resignation. An Afghan rights group said this week that foreign air strikes had recently killed more civilians than the Taliban.

U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, also at the Rome talks, said he had told De Hoop Scheffer privately that "civilian casualties (are) not acceptable".

In a speech, he said both Afghan and international forces had to "act strictly in accordance with international humanitarian law" to avoid discrediting their campaign.

SHADOWY ENEMY

"However difficult this may prove against a shadowy and unscrupulous adversary, we simply cannot hide from the reality that civilian casualties, no matter how accidental, strengthen our enemies and undermine our efforts," Ban said.

The NATO chief would not discuss the death toll from the weekend air strike in the southern Helmand province, saying: "Let's investigate first and draw up conclusions later."

Civilian deaths were not on the official agenda of the conference, which ended with new pledges of about $360 million over up to four years to support Afghanistan's justice system.

But Karzai said daily violence made justice elusive.

"For those Afghans living in the southern provinces of Afghanistan who face murder and destruction at the hands of terrorists or even to those civilians who inadvertently fall victim to counter-terrorism operations, to them ... justice is reduced to a bleak minimum," Karzai said.

He acknowledged that his government faced challenges from rampant corruption and shortcomings in judicial procedure, but also said the public outcry for the government to do more was a sign that Afghan democracy was strengthening.

The International Development Law Organisation says the shortcomings of Afghan justice range from lawyers who have not read the laws to judges jailing women without legal reason.

Police are poorly trained and equipped and violent crimes often go unpunished. Some criminals and drug barons in the world's leading producer of heroin are linked to former warlords who now serve inside the government.

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