By Joe Bavier

GOMA, Congo, Oct 15 (Reuters) - Congolese President Joseph Kabila met the top U.N. official in his country and foreign ambassadors on Monday to decide whether to negotiate with a rebel eastern general or to try to destroy him by force. Renegade General Laurent Nkunda, who has been battling government troops in Democratic Republic of Congo's North Kivu province, ignored a government-set deadline on Monday for his Tutsi fighters to start disbanding and rejoin the national army.

His refusal to obey the ultimatum has raised fears of an imminent all-out offensive by Congo's armed forces against Nkunda's positions in the eastern province, where the fighting has driven thousands of civilians from their homes.

Reflecting international concern over the expected government offensive, the head of the U.N. peacekeeping mission in Congo, William Swing and several foreign ambassadors met Kabila at his request in the North Kivu provincial capital Goma.

"We'll be expressing our worries and concerns," Kabila's spokesman Kudura Kasongo told Reuters at the provincial governor's palace where the talks were being held.

The British, South African, French and Belgian ambassadors and the acting U.S. mission head were among those present.

Kabila, who vowed to pacify all of his vast country after winning elections in the war-scarred former Belgian colony last year, has made clear he is running out of patience with Nkunda, who has led a three-year rebellion in North Kivu.

Nkunda says he is defending Congo's Tutsi ethnic community against attacks by Rwandan Hutu rebels he says are supported by Kabila's government and army. Kabila denies such support exists and has said Nkunda's men must disband or be forcibly disarmed.

"Clearly, an ultimatum has military implications," Kasongo said. He added Kabila wanted to find a lasting, peaceful solution in North Kivu, "but we won't wait for ever".

U.N. relief agencies and foreign governments fear an all-out military offensive against Nkunda will sharply worsen an already catastrophic humanitarian situation in North Kivu, where some 370,000 people have fled fighting in the province this year.

Aid agencies say they fear malnutrition rates are rising among civilians cut off by the clashes.

ETHNIC RIFTS

Nkunda, who has previously said he was ready to send his men to rejoin the national army, now says more talks are needed with the government on the terms of a peace deal.

The rebel general has said he would be prepared to leave the country if certain conditions were met. He wanted discussions on the safe return of Congolese Tutsi refugees from neighbouring countries such as Rwanda and Burundi.

The Rwandan Hutu rebels Nkunda sees as his main enemies are accused of involvement in Rwanda's 1994 genocide that saw the slaughter of 800,000 Tutsis and moderate Hutus.

The 17,000-strong U.N. peacekeeping mission in the Congo (MONUC) has appealed to all sides to avoid endangering the civilian population and to respect human rights in North Kivu.

MONUC said at the weekend it continued to support the Congolese armed forces, "assisting the government in the restoration and extension of state authority".

The U.N. mission, the largest of its kind operating in the world at the moment, urged all dissident fighters to join the process of integration into the national army, a key feature of the peace plan negotiated to end Congo's 1998-2003 war.

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